Love Simply Is

We become very mindful of love with the focus at this time of year, given the major marketing or advertising campaigns and displays that permeate every retail establishment imaginable, plus multiple commercials. The simple reason after all, is to entice you to spend money at their business to express love to those you love. The emphasis is always that these gestures - flowers, candy, lingerie, jewelry, cards, cuddly stuffed animals, perfume, dinner out or that perfect gift – are a necessity if you feel love for another person.

Granted, most individuals enjoy receiving tokens of love, and although it may be geared primarily for women and perhaps children, men relish receiving tokens of love as well, even if they don’t admit it. Feeling loved and sharing love is something of great value to most individuals and they cherish that feeling. I imagine this is true for you.

But the advertising in society today has led many people to focus too much on the materialistic aspect of love so that individuals only know a superficial way of expressing love. Of course, it is important that we be reminded to express our feelings to those we love, and certainly giving a token of that love in the form of a gift is warranted. However, if the focus is solely on the superficial gift, basing that as a measure of love, an internal void for what love truly is exists.

What if your birthday, Valentine’s Day or a special occasion came and went and those you love failed to bring you a token or share their love in any way? Most likely you would be hurt and upset, and perhaps put you in a depressed mood. And why is this? It’s simple really – you had expectations. We all have certain expectations for how people are supposed to behave in particular situations or settings. When that expectation isn’t fulfilled, we become upset, maybe even feeling unloved.

But you see, that isn’t true love; that is love with expectations. If you really love someone, it is unconditional. That means that no matter what they do or say, you love them. However, it doesn’t mean you accept abuse, meanness or hurtful behavior from them. In that case, you would have to decide if this was a momentary digressive behavior or if you needed to detach from the relationship; either way you can still love them and forgive them. So expectations are man-made conditions that we put in place as necessary for someone to show love to us.

True love has no expectations; it is unconditional. In other words, a person does not have to do anything to procure that love. They don’t have to prove anything to us or perform in a particular fashion for us to love them. We may have standards and in some cases rules that must be adhered to, but the love remains regardless of actions and behavior. This is difficult for many people to grasp fully because as humans, we want to have control over what others do for us and to us.